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“[Beer] is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.”

“All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
But let's just get me through this, and I can get
back to killing you with beer.”
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So maybe ‘razor sharp’ is a bit of a stretch. And ‘wisdom’ might be too strong a word. But Homer is indeed a beer seer, as I will now proceed to demonstrate.

“But isn’t this beer web site supposed to be about saving the world,” queries the quizzical reader. “How is a beer-fueled Homer Simpson saving the world? I mean come on, he works in a friggin’ nuclear power plant!”

Fair question.

Now, I’m not the kind of person who looks deep into popular television searching for hidden meaning. The Simpsons pretty much is what it is – a comedy show that people watch to vegge out and laugh. But if I were one of those kinds of people that looks for secret messages in t.v. shows (again, which I am not), I might suspect that maybe that Matt Groening guy was trying to imply that just maybe nuclear power plants aren’t the best idea. Just look at Homer, whose job purportedly is to ensure the safety of the plant. He slacks off eating donuts and forgetting to watch the radiation levels – all of a sudden we could all be nuclear toast. Hidden message: Nuclear power is dangerous.

Okay but hidden messages aside, sure, watching t.v. isn’t exactly at the top of anyone’s list of how to save the world. But what should be at the top of the list is laughing and smiling and having a good time. I know enough dour activists to sink a boat, and man does it get tiring listening to all that grim banter about how the world is going to hell. The ozone is disappearing, all the species are going extinct, people are starting wars, yadda yadda yadda. Well I, for one, firmly believe that if everyone were to sit down and have a beer together, and just laugh it up a bit, we’d solve some of these menacing problems.

Just think about it, switch the ‘o’ for a ‘u’ and phonetically, his very name becomes ‘humor.’ Tell me any self respecting secret-message-finder-in-popular-television-shows wouldn’t agree that this is a thinly-veiled attempt to unveil the Truth – that laughter is, in fact, the best medicine.

“Are you saying beer drinking will create world peace, and solve all our environmental problems? That sounds rather simplistic even to me, a person who is, after all, reading this website, so obviously I am rather inclined to be in the favor of such a crackpot theory. But still, some people would say you are just making excuses to get drunk.”

Okay mister Doubting Thomas. You don’t have to believe me. I refer you to Science.

According to countless scientific reports, people who laugh and smile a lot are generally healthier and live longer. But isn’t that obvious? I mean come on, who needs a stinking scientist to tell them that being happy is good for you?

So are you keeping track? We now we have two unassailable reasons that Homer is a modern day prophet of peace and sustainability: first, his creator is subliminally protesting nuclear power; and second, Homer delivers laughs, which Science has proven to be good for us. And now for the third and most important reason, which is illustrated in the following Simpsons episode:

Homer runs out of his favorite local brew: Duff Beer. Homer also hates his neighbor Ned Flanders. But times are desperate, and Homer is thirsty. So in his unswerving pursuit of a cold one, Homer buries his animosity and manages to get himself invited over to Flanders’ ‘rumpus room’ for a beer. Homer’s dedication is strong, and he is willing to suffer almost any indignity at the hand of Flanders, as long as the other hand is offering a free beer. But even this can only go so far. Something finally pushes Homer over the edge. What could possibly offend such a fervent believer in the spirit of free beer that he finally bites the hand that pours? Simple. Homer prefers local beer, but Ned keeps pushing his fancy smancy stuff from out of town. Observe the following dialogue:

Homer: “All right, knock it off!”
Ned Flanders: “Knock what off, Simpson?”
Homer: “You've been rubbing my nose in it since I got here! Your family is better than my family, your beer comes from farther away than my beer.”

Your beer comes from farther away than my beer. There you have it, in plain English. One need not be a believer-in-concealed-moral-tales-in-t.v.-sitcoms (which I remind you I am most certainly not) to see the blatant message in this parable. Though admittedly taken to an extreme that no mortal need attempt to emulate, the meaning is clear: Support Your Local Brewery.

In sum, Homer is a symbol of peace, sustainability, and fresh, sweet, local beer.

In this Homerian spirit of good will, I leave you with some of my favorite Revealed Truths of Homer:

Do Re Mi Drink
(Homer’s version of the well-loved Julie Andrews classic)

DOUGH... The stuff that buys me beer.
RAY... The guy that sells me beer.
ME... The guy who drinks the beer
FAR... The distance to my beer.
SO... I think I'll have a beer.
LA... La la la la la la beer.
TEA... No thanks, I'm drinking beer.
That will bring us back to...
(Looks into an empty glass)
DOH!

Homer Beer Quotes
“Ah, good old trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die."

"Maybe it's the beer talking, Marge, but you got a butt that won't quit."

"Beer! How did you know?!"

“[Beer] they smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!"

"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."

“[Beer], the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

"To think, I turned to a cult for mindless happiness when I had beer all along." (Marge clears her throat) "And you, Marge, the Bringer of Beer."

"Homer no function beer well without."

"I'm glad I'm back. Because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue, I was born again!"

“Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.”

“I'd rather have a beer, than win 'Father of the Year.'”

“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.”

“All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.”

“The college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem.”

“You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.”

(After a night of beer drinking at Moe’s Bar.)
“It's 1 AM (sigh). Time to spend some quality time with the kids.”

“I used to rock 'n roll all night and party everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.”

(Homer in Court)
“Your honor, I'd like to represent myself. Drunken hicks of the jury...........”

“Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.”

Some Ad posters for Duff Beer:
Prohibition got you down?
Drink Doctor Duff's
‘Health Tonic’

I knew he was a Commie
'cause he didn't drink
Duff Beer

Duff Beer flavors:
Duff (regular)
Duff Lite
Duff Dry
Duff Dark
Raspberry Duff
Lady Duff
Tartar Control Duff
Duff Gummi Beers

I Drank Some Very Good Beer
(Homer sings to the tune of "It was a Very Good Year")
Well beer, we've had some great times...
When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17.

A Duff Beer commercial from the 1950's shows a cartoon doctor pointing at a crude diagram of a stomach.

Doctor: “Only Duff fills your "Q zone" with pure beer goodness.”
[the letters G-O-O-D-N-E-S-S tumble down into the "stomach."]
[the commercial cuts to a shot of the doctor]
“So drink up -- and up -- and up!”
[the cartoon doctor literally takes off, like a rocket]

Another early Duff Beer commercial depicts the Kennedy-Nixon Presidential debate of 1960.
Kennedy: I would like to take this opportunity to announce my fondness for, ah, Duff Beer. [audience cheers]
Nixon: I'd also like to express, er, my fondness for that particular beer.
[audience grumbles]

And Homer is not the only prophet, his fellow characters are like beer apostles of a sort. Here is some of their revealed Beer Truth.

“Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.”
Barney Gumbal

“Money gets ya one more round.
Drink it down, ya stupid clown.
Money gets you one more round
then you're out on your ass.”
Moe Szyslak

“I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case - we only got one case left.”
Barney Gumbal

“My name is Otto. I like to get blotto.”
Otto

Marge: "Let's get some beer in you and get you to bed."
Homer: "Woohoo! Beerbeerbeer, bedbedbed."

“Smithers, this beer isn't working, I don't feel any younger or funkier.”
Mr. Burns

“Not an election. Is that one of those deals where they close the bars?”
Barney Gumbal

“Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!”
Number One

“Fruit rollups for Bart. Beer rollups for Homer.”
Marge Simpson

“You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.”
Mayor Quimby

“Who do I have to gum to get a refill?”
Agnus Skinner

“All right, Homey, you're over-stimulated. As soon as we get you home, we'll get some beer into you, and then it's straight to bed.”
Marge Simpson

“Ok, class, today we'll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover.”
Edna Krabappel